still not sure where i left my brain...

this has been one of Those weekends. the sort where you get to the end and ask yourself

"wait, no, was that only 3 days?"

yes, we had a long-weekend here in Canberra. let's move on, ok? i'd like to get some sleep tonight, and i'm going to get it, oh yes.

this weekend i have been busy. i have been pleasantly surprised, knocked off my feet, slammed into things and spent an alarming amount of time skidding sideways. i have, at various times, drunk too much, eaten too little, thought too often and planned too rarely. i have oscillated between being completely and totally gobsmacked and having my mouth run on hyperspeed. i have watched hours disappear in moments and moments stretch to days.

and that was just sunday. confused? get used to it. i've been living here for years. i'll put it to you like this:

life just got interesting again and managed to leap from inspired boredom to off the fucking scale in the space of... oh, 80 hours (and remember here that i had to have slept for SOME of that), and once more i've landed myself in a fantastically awesome situation which none-the-less beggars belief. it's been the sort of story you hear in the pub about the friend of a friend of a friend and has been so obviously embellished that you never can be quite sure as to which parts are truth and which apocryphal. alright, maybe i exaggerate. or do i? the lines in my head between "normal" and "alternative" have been blurring here and there over the years to the point where i wonder at the quality of my own perspective. i've been to some weird and wonderful psychological and social places in my time and to this day i get confronted by situations i'd never expected to find myself in. makes you wonder a little what this same situation would have been like for someone who conformed to the "normal" box... but then if i were normal i wouldn't have wound up in this situation.

would have sucked to have been me in that case...

here's a couple of non-chronological vignettes for you to sip on for a moment:

consider the dichotomy that it is to be considered poor form to accidentally slide a roofless sports car out sideways at over 120kph in close proximity to a 25-30metre drop-off down a series of 40kph-rated S-bends while listening to trance remixes of the music from a game released in 1994, an hour or so into a first date. except for when you manage to save it.

consider my surprise that the appropriate answer to the question "So are you going to get around to kissing me any time soon?" IS IN FACT "Whenever you're ready...". i was as shocked as anyone else, i assure you. similarly, i can assure you that i didn't get to finish my sentence.

consider how convenient it is that when you lapse into a state of mild-shock with large portions of your psyche dribbling out of your ear that it is entirely possible that your date and your most recent Ghost Of Girlfriends-Past will choose to be politely unaware of your obvious discomfort and continue on with their Perfectly Polite Conversation across you, and that if you have the incredibly great fortune to be interrupted you should thank whomever it was from the bottom of what's left of your heart after it's mangled remains have been recovered from being Specifically Not Fought Over.

consider, however, that regardless of the internal system damage incurred, it's worth it to sit by the ring and watch a Kitten-who-thinks-they're-a-Tiger actually meet a real one who's sitting back in self-assured confidence wearing an incredulous expression which screams "you reckon, do you?" on all frequencies outside the audible.

oh dear, you know, if i didn't already live here i'd never recommend moving into My Head. the decontamination fee would be far higher than the purchase price. why did you think it was so cheap in the first place?

i really wish that last night's sleep had gone better. after a huge day that never seemed to end but was nonetheless over too quickly, you'd have thought that i'd have slept the sleep of the righteous... or at least the dead. instead, 6 and a half hours later i was awakened to a phone call and was soon on the move again. i've not been properly right all day and running on the secretions of the adrenal medulla and the fruit of the coffea tree. tomorrow i need to be at work and at least nominally alert which is, of course, why i'm lying around blathering on a blog at a quarter to one in the fucking morning. hey - i never said i was SENSIBLE about any of this. if i were SENSIBLE i'd have run for the fucking hills ages ago.

fuck sensible. sideways into the deep end is far more fun... and my how deep the water is.

i'm rather looking forward to my ride to work tomorrow. i think i'm going to need the concentration i only ever really get at extreme lean and foolishly high speed swerving between traffic to get my mind in order again after the last few days. or maybe the hard-reboot of pharmaceutically-induced sleep. i'll work it all out later when thinking isn't so difficult.