... and then there was one.

i logged on to facebook an hour or so ago while i was sitting in the kitchen waiting for my pasties to crisp up in the oven and got an IM window from my kid brother saying

"hey, can you come to Perth for your birthday?"

i was half-way through typing a sarcastic reply when his status changed to

"[The Boy] isnt not getting married on the 26th of september this year."

at which point i nearly fell out of my chair. it was one of those things that shouldn't surprise me - 4 months ago we were talking about how he was going to pop the question 2 days before he went and did it. he was talking about asking her something like a year and a half ago and chickened out. it's been coming for a while, but having a date set makes it seem like it's like it's already happened so the way it hit me it might as well have happened yesterday. i was really glad when he finally did. Theresa's a beautiful, lovely girl who seems way too good for him - how she puts up with the little shit i have no idea, although i'll admit i'm biased.

it's a bit of a strange feeling to know that sooner rather than later i'll be the last one standing - my sister got married a couple of years ago, a year or so after her son John (named for our grandfather) was born. i got nicely drunk at the reception. come September i intend on being drunk at the ceremony (note to self - ensure that new suit has pockets that will fit a hip-flask). i'm the eldest of three, rapidly accellerating into the role of bachelor-uncle. it's funny, because it's always been a mark of some small pride to me - i've known for years that i was fated to stand alone while the rest of my generation coupled up. a penchant for mental-instability and changing cites every few years is not a basis for long-term relationships. even before i left Perth and built a new life on the of side of the country i was woeful at the "long-term relationship" game. i've been looking forward to being the favourite crazy, angry uncle to my siblings and friends kids, the single guy who makes the odd number at the dinner party before heading off drunk to his one-bedroom apartment. of course, having it actually smack you in the face and force you to confront the cold reality of it is entirely different.

yeah, i'm a little depressed about it all now - in 6 months time i'll be in Perth, standing next to my sister and her husband, my brother and his wife and our folks, posing for a photo that'll forever look lopsided. i'm torn between grinning through it defiantly and seeing if i can con one of my friends into coming as a Rent-A-Babe... i wonder if Sandra would be up for a trip to Perth? something about that smells cheap though, and dishonest. getting a mate to stand in so that i don't look like a loser in The Boy's wedding photos just sounds sad - like the obnoxious cock who shows up to his 10-year high school reunion in a rented Ferrari with a model he's paid for the night.

the other thing is, of course, that in 6 months i'm going to have to be in Perth. it's been floating around in the back of my mind that due to the investment of cash and time required to get to the other side of the world, i'd quietly intended that the next time i set foot on home-soil it'd be with a view of not leaving again for a while. i can't help but laugh that 24 hours ago i was saying that i had nothing impending that required me to make a decision one way or another and that i had the time to sort my shit out... now i have a fucking deadline, and inside of the next few months i'll need to make a call as to whether, when i book this flight, it's one-way or return. try to make a decision and the universe will make it impossible. refuse to make a decision and it'll find a way to force you. if you want to make the gods laugh, tell them your plans. i was planning on sitting around with my thumb up my arse for a while and see where the world rolled before i jumped one way or another. turns out: not so much.