When the reaction isn't equal or opposite to the action...

 Once upon a time in a literary device i reckon I've abused enough already and can't be fucked finding a justification to keep corner-cutting a justification for digging up and flogging like the horse who died before the finishing line of the last race i didn't expect to win and never bet on myself to even place in before it started that I'm just going to keep throwing words down until i run out of ways to string them together based on the theory that somehow somewhere eventually if i lay enough of them down sooner or later they'll roll back to the alternative-history where I had a fucking clue of where i meant for them to go when i started and they coalesce into the speculative-future where I got to the gods-damn point... 

Sorry, those rambling run-on unpunctuated sentences have become such a habit the urge to fling them together and sling them at the page to stop it looking blank has become Automatic. 

A lot of the habits we have are formed because the order of operations are proven to work; jocks then thermals, socks before shoes, shirt tucks into trousers [OUT OF BOUNDS ERROR]... ah shit, i fucked up the order of my input queue and isn't it lucky I added a boolean argument to my suitedAndBooted($hadCaffeine); method or my ride to work could have got messy... 

A lot of the habits we have are formed because doing things like that, when presented with this input, has worked enough times it was worth building a macro to save us compute-time and and memory-space. 

Some of the habits formed by people you may or may not realise you know, unless you happen to be mates with Amber Heard or Rhianna, are ones formed because they keep you alive, and those... those automatic reactions are harder to rewrite. When the hand raised to you offering the highest of 5's looks exactly like something else entirely you shouldn't be blamed for flinching by anyone, least of all by yourself; there's a > 0% chance that habit is why you're still alive today and yeah, you might be a mess you're still trying to sort out, but that's still better than being one the DV crew needed to clean up. 

I know this because Helen knows this, and she told me... 

... and I could understand what she said because a long long time ago, in a front yard 3623km away, Kat explained to me that whilst #notAllMen provided the input, #everyFuckingWomanYouKnow has built the macro.

So, whilst I might not always join you for my own sake:
Rejoice!
because YOU ARE ALIVE, and that's the only state of being where habits have any chance of being rewritten. 

That wasn't where I thought I was going when the cursor started marching across the screen of my laptop, but of all the places to wind up there are far worse...