...

 10 days ago She finally talked to me again for the first time in 5 months and 7 days.

Since then I've been quietly putting together in my head the thousands of words I was going to write to describe the conversations we've been having... 

Then tonight we had what will probably be the last meaningful conversation we're going to have any time in the foreseeable future, and I realised I can't actually write them. It wasn't a bad conversation; each one we had got less guarded and more real as they went along, and this was about as real as it was going to get. 

Over a week and two days I got my catharsis. 
I finally got to stop waiting for the call She'd promised me, and the wound I've been working so hard to heal around has finally been able to close over. 
I apologised for a great many things, and whilst I don't recall hearing any in return I don't feel short-changed. 
The air was cleared, and a foundation laid on which a friendship can be built.
That won't be happening today, or tomorrow.
There's no guarantee that it will ever happen at all. 
But it CAN, and I'll take that win. 

There's a part of me that didn't even want to write as many as I have, and to let the brief moment that I got to have Her in my life again pass in silence, but... this has been too important to skip over entirely.

There's no pathway from here to building that friendship.
I still miss the shit out of Her. and I still love Her to death. 
But it's no longer Blocked. 

And I'm no longer waiting.