a few years ago i started making a bit of a collage on the wall of my bedroom. it started as a couple of photos i'd printed out from a recent trip, then slowly grew as i added odds and ends i'd had lying around, or found along the way. when i moved i took a photo and recreated it in my new room, then promptly forgot about it. now i'm lying back in my room again, after getting back from Perth and it's been falling off the wall - one piece has curled up and lost half its blutack, others are hanging from a corner and others still have fallen completely behind the shelves.
that seems to be an apt metaphor for my life at the moment. i'm shattered. i'm glad to be back in canberra and all, but being back means that i have things to do. lots of them. far too many calls upon my time and energy, far too much to achieve and far too little energy to get it all done. right now is completely not the right time to call me and ask if i'm excited about flying around the world because right now i'd be just about as happy to add a smear of blood and brains to my collage - one final addition to my improv artwork. i'll feel better in the morning, i swear, but i have too much percolating around my brain to make any sense of it all and it's all falling apart.
tomorrow brings packing, after which i hope i'll feel better about it all. solid progress that i can see should make it all look a bit less daunting. the last week has reminded me how much i can cram into a day. knowing that the end is in sight - that all i have to do once i get to sydney is get on a fucking aeroplane, after which i'll have more or less all the time in the world... that's providing me with some peace. i just need to keep it all together until then. meanwhile, tomorrow i'm seeing a pretty little lass who likes to kiss me and i'm sure that'll perk me up no end... as long as i can get plenty done between now and then. one of the things i need to get done is sleep, and since that is the next thing on my Sisyphean task list i'm going to get right on it.
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